My Biggest Fear
Tons of people
Know what they want
To do as a profession
Yet I don't
Right now I am in
A dead end job
That does not bring
Happiness
Or fulfillment
It leaves me craving for more
But what that more is I do not know
I am of the mind
That in order to be
Truly happy
One must find
A vocation that they
Love or
At least enjoy
The only problem is
That my mind wanders
In a million different directions
Simultaneously
And I don't know
Where to begin or
How to respond
To the plethora of
Limitless ideas that crowd
My imagination
All I know is
That I want to be happy
But since my ideas
Tend to be unorthodox
Different than the norm
They create an inner struggle
That goes on in my mind
My questions do not surround
Surprisingly
"Am I good enough"
or
"Do I know what I am doing"
But instead
On a more surface level
What if I fail
I will have to face
The agony of defeat
And thus potentially validate
Everyone's view
That I am not fit
To create something
Out of nothing
And am therefore refined
To fitting the status quo
Thus being like everyone else
And reacquainting myself
With an established norm
That does not lend itself
To creativeness
Nor ingenuity
That I feel I must have
In order to feel worthwhile
And satisfied
In the professional realm
Why is it that I have this
Nagging fear of not fulfilling
My own endeavors
Be what they may
And am thus forced
To refine myself
To what everyone else does
I know those closest to me
Don't want to see me hurt or fail
At anything
Especially business or
What is my livelihood
So they often encourage me
To stick with something
That is safe and secure
Instead of taking risks
And being adventurousness
That is what keeps me paralyzed
The fear of admitting they may be right
Or succumbing to the pressures
They put on me
To conform
In the face of failure
How can I escape
The fear of failure
And living a life
That is undifferentiated
From those around me
It almost feels
Like I have to perform
Up to some certain standard
And if I don't
Then I am a failure
Or inadequate
Waste talent
Instead of using it for
All that I have
Feeling paralyzed
Can often lead people
To inaction
Even when there
Fears are unsubstantiated
Or unfounded
And that, my friends,
Is what I feel
Is keeping me
From stepping out and
Spreading my wings
Doing my own thing
And letting the pieces
Fall where they may
Monday, January 19, 2015
Thursday, January 15, 2015
What Happened to the Dream
Being a kid
Was filled with innocence
There were no limits
As to what we thought
Any of us could do
Some of us wanted to be
Astronauts
Others wanted to be
Firemen
Or police officers
Many of us wanted to join
The military
I, for one, wanted to be a
Perfume smeller
Some of us still didn't know
What we wanted to be
And that was okay
Because we had years
To figure it all out
But once we become adults
We become extremely cynical
Over the years
We put brakes on dreams
We once thought were possible
Because we need to pay our bills
Or it isn't a career
That our family or friends
Approve of
So we settle
For a job that doesn't
Keep us feeling
Alive and enthusiastic
But what good
Does that do
Other than make us
Miserable
Because we settle
For that which doesn't energize us
We forget what it feels
Like to sit back and dream
And figure what we have to do
In order to bring to fruition
That which we envision
In our own minds' eye
How many of us are really happy
It is hard to say
Some of us might end up being
Happy with that profession
We do end up choosing
But as for me
An artist
I love to create
Envision
Dabble
Participate in many things at once
Because it makes me feel
Happy
But yet I am one of those
Who have artistic aspirations
Who settle for
Something that doesn't
Bring contentment to me
All in order
To just pay the bills
What can creative minds do
To get outside of themselves
And find out what is needed
To pursue their childhood dreams
With faith like a child
Where the idea or thought
Of failure or under performing
Is something that none of us
Know or comprehend
Because there is no need
Because we realize
That happiness only comes
When we dare to dream
And act on those dreams
Regardless of the outcomes
Whether we reach our
Stated goals or not
Doesn't matter
It is all about the journey
Of doing something
We love
Being a kid
Was filled with innocence
There were no limits
As to what we thought
Any of us could do
Some of us wanted to be
Astronauts
Others wanted to be
Firemen
Or police officers
Many of us wanted to join
The military
I, for one, wanted to be a
Perfume smeller
Some of us still didn't know
What we wanted to be
And that was okay
Because we had years
To figure it all out
But once we become adults
We become extremely cynical
Over the years
We put brakes on dreams
We once thought were possible
Because we need to pay our bills
Or it isn't a career
That our family or friends
Approve of
So we settle
For a job that doesn't
Keep us feeling
Alive and enthusiastic
But what good
Does that do
Other than make us
Miserable
Because we settle
For that which doesn't energize us
We forget what it feels
Like to sit back and dream
And figure what we have to do
In order to bring to fruition
That which we envision
In our own minds' eye
How many of us are really happy
It is hard to say
Some of us might end up being
Happy with that profession
We do end up choosing
But as for me
An artist
I love to create
Envision
Dabble
Participate in many things at once
Because it makes me feel
Happy
But yet I am one of those
Who have artistic aspirations
Who settle for
Something that doesn't
Bring contentment to me
All in order
To just pay the bills
What can creative minds do
To get outside of themselves
And find out what is needed
To pursue their childhood dreams
With faith like a child
Where the idea or thought
Of failure or under performing
Is something that none of us
Know or comprehend
Because there is no need
Because we realize
That happiness only comes
When we dare to dream
And act on those dreams
Regardless of the outcomes
Whether we reach our
Stated goals or not
Doesn't matter
It is all about the journey
Of doing something
We love
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Keep Inside the Box
How often do we hear
That you are expected
To do certain things
Or behave in a specified manner
Which only leads us to conform
To that which is
Expected of us
Instead of truly grasping
Who we really are
And doing things
That are unique to us
It could be careers
Where you go to school
Who you hang out with
What activities you engage in
Yet all the time
We are being inauthentic
To ourselves
By living someone else's life
Instead of our own
Just because we were raised
In a specific environment
Where specific things
Were expected
Of those who live within it
Doesn't mean that we have
To follow the prescribed formula
And be like everyone else
When it is our turn to choose
Where we go to school
What job we have
Who our friends are
Or what activities we partake
Yet we all feel trapped
We don't want to disappoint
We want approval
Of those that matter to us
But when it comes to it
Whose approval and satisfaction
Matters the most
That of those around us
Or that we call our own
Only we are stuck with the lives
That we choose to live
And by taking ownership
Of the process
We are enabled to venture out
And do those things which are true
To who we are
Yet it feels like we are fighting
This never ending current
That pulls us away from what is true
To who we are
But in the end
All that matters
Is that we behave
In accordance
With the rules and guidelines
We set and establish
For the life we want to live
Lost at Sea
How common is it
To feel clueless as to what comes next
Where you feel stuck
In something that makes you feel inadequate
With no way out
In the foreseeable future
You thrash and turn
Wear yourself out
But regardless of how are you try
Or the amount of effort
Both physical and emotional
You put into it
Nothing turns out
As you would expect
Let alone hope or guess
You feel embarrassed
Like a complete failure
As you try and discover
Who you really are
And where you fit
In this world
On a professional standpoint
Yet everyone has suggestions
Offers advice
But are any of them
Authentic
Or best represent
Who you really are
Or do they lead you
To circumstances where you feel
Even more lost
Than when you first began
Others' intentions are well meant
But that is what they see
From the outside
Looking in
Instead of true authenticity
Which is from the inside
Looking out
That is where the answer
Any answer
Must come from
If it is meant
To truly represent
Who you are
And what you
Stand for
At its authentic core
As a professional
But therein
Lies the problem
That unfortunately
Only you can
Truly answer
And that is
Who am I
Where do I best fit
Unfortunately I feel
Many of us, myself included
Spend our whole lives
Trying to find that out
Sadly, I fear, some of us never will
But it is that inner struggle
I feel
That robs us of true contentment
In that area
Which we call a profession
Which way do you go
Do you keep adjusting
And re-calibrating
As you go along
In order
To finally and hopefully
End up where
Your true north is
Or do we
Keep spinning in circles
Rapidly moving
From one idea
To the next
That brings us that inner peace
That comes with doing the most
With what we have
From a professional standpoint
How common is it
To feel clueless as to what comes next
Where you feel stuck
In something that makes you feel inadequate
With no way out
In the foreseeable future
You thrash and turn
Wear yourself out
But regardless of how are you try
Or the amount of effort
Both physical and emotional
You put into it
Nothing turns out
As you would expect
Let alone hope or guess
You feel embarrassed
Like a complete failure
As you try and discover
Who you really are
And where you fit
In this world
On a professional standpoint
Yet everyone has suggestions
Offers advice
But are any of them
Authentic
Or best represent
Who you really are
Or do they lead you
To circumstances where you feel
Even more lost
Than when you first began
Others' intentions are well meant
But that is what they see
From the outside
Looking in
Instead of true authenticity
Which is from the inside
Looking out
That is where the answer
Any answer
Must come from
If it is meant
To truly represent
Who you are
And what you
Stand for
At its authentic core
As a professional
But therein
Lies the problem
That unfortunately
Only you can
Truly answer
And that is
Who am I
Where do I best fit
Unfortunately I feel
Many of us, myself included
Spend our whole lives
Trying to find that out
Sadly, I fear, some of us never will
But it is that inner struggle
I feel
That robs us of true contentment
In that area
Which we call a profession
Which way do you go
Do you keep adjusting
And re-calibrating
As you go along
In order
To finally and hopefully
End up where
Your true north is
Or do we
Keep spinning in circles
Rapidly moving
From one idea
To the next
That brings us that inner peace
That comes with doing the most
With what we have
From a professional standpoint
Reality Does Not Exist
We are all putting on shows
of some sort or another
Fearful of how we are perceived by others
We fall into line
One behind the other
Nobody wants to stand out
Being different is equated to being weird
Unlike others where we will stand out
But we cringe at the thought
Of being unique or unlike our peers around us
I don't understand
We are all different yet we all want to be the same
Society puts us into groups
Cliques or clubs
Yet none of those labels are natural
They don't come close to revealing the truth about our true selves
Everyone is so afraid of being judged
Where standing out is frowned upon
It is sad and our facades totally consume us
Originality is an art that has been completely forgotten
We all dress, walk, talk and act like those around us
Because we are all afraid of laying ourselves bare for all to see
Each one of us is hiding several different stories
Because we fear others won't love or respect us for who we really are
We all walk through our lives like zombies
Trying to adapt our behaviors to be like those around us
Like living in a uniform code makes us happy
Yet do you know how many people are miserable
Because they are always running away from their true selves
No wonder there are so many different crimes, fights, scuffles or wars, both inside our own minds and out
Brokenness seems to be something that we all run from
Instead of towards and embracing it for what it is
We all need healing in all of its many different forms
Do we really know ourselves
With all of our warts, bruises and scars
And see the beauty of that art
Which lies within each one of us
Evidently we don't
We run scared from the brokenness within
Thinking that if we never admit it or slow down to cope
With all the struggles we face
We can keep it all at arms bay
Instead of the real truth
Which is that it eats us alive
Right where we are
Can we genuinely connect with others
When we are constantly keeping the truth from ourselves
Why do we all find that shameful
Filling us with constant grief and confusion
Instead of refreshing
Realizing we are never really alone
Rather than growing closer
We tend to push everyone away
Constantly living in fear
That we will be realized as a fraud
-Anonymous
We are all putting on shows
of some sort or another
Fearful of how we are perceived by others
We fall into line
One behind the other
Nobody wants to stand out
Being different is equated to being weird
Unlike others where we will stand out
But we cringe at the thought
Of being unique or unlike our peers around us
I don't understand
We are all different yet we all want to be the same
Society puts us into groups
Cliques or clubs
Yet none of those labels are natural
They don't come close to revealing the truth about our true selves
Everyone is so afraid of being judged
Where standing out is frowned upon
It is sad and our facades totally consume us
Originality is an art that has been completely forgotten
We all dress, walk, talk and act like those around us
Because we are all afraid of laying ourselves bare for all to see
Each one of us is hiding several different stories
Because we fear others won't love or respect us for who we really are
We all walk through our lives like zombies
Trying to adapt our behaviors to be like those around us
Like living in a uniform code makes us happy
Yet do you know how many people are miserable
Because they are always running away from their true selves
No wonder there are so many different crimes, fights, scuffles or wars, both inside our own minds and out
Brokenness seems to be something that we all run from
Instead of towards and embracing it for what it is
We all need healing in all of its many different forms
Do we really know ourselves
With all of our warts, bruises and scars
And see the beauty of that art
Which lies within each one of us
Evidently we don't
We run scared from the brokenness within
Thinking that if we never admit it or slow down to cope
With all the struggles we face
We can keep it all at arms bay
Instead of the real truth
Which is that it eats us alive
Right where we are
Can we genuinely connect with others
When we are constantly keeping the truth from ourselves
Why do we all find that shameful
Filling us with constant grief and confusion
Instead of refreshing
Realizing we are never really alone
Rather than growing closer
We tend to push everyone away
Constantly living in fear
That we will be realized as a fraud
-Anonymous
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